The MS Climb to the Top stair climb is this Sunday.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous.
That lazy bitch in me keeps asking why I sign up for these crazy events. Why do I insist on pushing our body in such ways. Why do we keep trying for goals that aren't sure things?
My answer for this is always two fold. First I turn to my favorite quote:
“He who risks and fails can be forgiven. He who never risks and never fails is a failure in his whole being.”
The second part is simple. My desire to be a bad ass requires that I stick my neck out and push myself as hard as I can and give everything I do all that I have.
I have no idea if I'll make it up all 66 flights of stairs. I will be damned if I'm not going to try as hard as I can to get them all done though.
I'm not concerned about time (other than being done in under an hour so I don't get kicked off the course) and I have NO illusions of being one of the top three fastest times. To me, it's about doing the best that I can and really pushing myself till my tank is completely and totally empty.
I'm not an athlete. I don't pretend to be one. I know this event will have mostly runners who do Marathons and will blow by me on the stairs and won't be breathing hard while I sound like a bad porn movie or obscene phone call.
I know I'm not in half the shape some of these people are. I'm an overweight stay at home mom with nothing to prove to ANYONE but herself. I'm competing against no one but me.
One stair at a time and I'm not going to count and will most likely try to avoid seeing what floor I'm on. One foot in front of the other till I reach the top.
It's not my body I worry about. Yes, my legs will be tired and yes, my heart rate will be super elevated (don't worry dad and Aunt Rho. I'll be fine!) yes, my mouth will be completely bone dry and my breathing will be as labored as it can be but those aren't what's going to finish me.
It's my own brain that gets in my way. It's that little voice that whispers "Give up. Stop. There's no shame in failure. You're tired and you tried" It's also the Attention Deficit Disorder (Going to the Dr on Monday to get myself back on Ritalin for it!) that causes me to lose focus on what I'm doing.
Sunday will for me not only be a test to see how far I can push myself, but it will also force me to fight my own brain. To keep the positive focused side as the only voice I hear.
I'll do a follow up blog on Sunday afternoon...
Fingers cross and if you want to send me a tweet or facebook message of encouragement the day of it would be the best!